Analyzing my Attachment to ‘Wanting’

in Personal Development

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As I stand at the edge of an incredible phase of my human existence, I’m caught in a quagmire.

All my life I’ve always wanted more.
I’m a rebel at heart, stubbornly pursuing to express that which lies in the very depths of my being.

In time, I’ve become aware of the limitations of my wanting.
My Buddhist studies in India pushed me to see the idea of desire being the root of all suffering; I came to observe my attachments impeding my manifestations; but all of it at a very intellectual level. An entertaining thought of sort.

As I rapidly learn to navigate the dualistic energies of this lifetime, what was once theoretical amusement has now sunk into emotional resonance. I know that for me to step forward into my true potential as a creator, I must learn to focus all my intention on the present.

But what a challenge it is.

All my life… our lives… we’ve been conditioned by society to look to what’s next. To live in the future. Always one step ahead of ourselves. And while we came to believe that it was power, our addiction to the surface level results prevented us from seeing the illusion.

With every want we create a process to have. What we don’t realize is that it is not the process (actions) itself that manifests what we want, but rather the influence the process has on our mind. The actions merely physical symbols representing changes in our mental world.

As we move through any process, we begin to believe that what we want is something we can have… gradually proceeding to the belief we will have it… and finally acquiring that desire… having it. We then owe our accomplishment and success to the process, never stepping back far enough to realize the achievement was the outcome of who we became in the process. It is the vibration of our being that aligned with the vibration of our desire that brought it from the mental world into the physical.

Without this realization, we run after processes trying to find the ‘right’ one. We get stuck in processes we have created thinking they are the ‘only’ way to get what we want. Worst of all we become a product of process, pulling us further and further away from presence.

On the surface, this may not seem like such a bad habit. After all, if we can figure out the process, we can manifest. True. However, here’s where processes’ really begin to hinder us.

By subscribing to constant processes we 1) always add a barrier between what we want and having it 2) ultimately, we get stuck in a pattern of never really having. 

Let’s discuss 2) first.

When you live in the mindset of always creating, developing and fixing processes, your life becomes solely about the process. You live in the ‘space’/’gap’ between the desire and the manifestation, and thus never really have anything you initially wanted. Even if you were to manifest what you wanted into your reality, the initial excitement it was driven from has now diminished with that energy being transferred to a new want that is further away in the future… another want. It’s pretty much like the idea of a horse chasing after a carrot on a stick in front of them. No matter how fast they move or how far they get, the carrot continues to elude them.

In this state of existence, we can never actually be fulfilled. We always remain one step behind where we want to be.

Now, let’s bring in 1).

Like explained above, the process for having anything is really just a mental barrier. It’s create by our addiction described in my explanation of 2) above, and also our society’s strong belief in IFTTT (If this, then that). However, on a more conscious/spiritual level the idea of a process needed to have anything we want, interferes with the magic many of you reading this are beginning to experience.

For magic to exist, we have to remove any and all ideas of how we expect the desire to manifest. We literally, as Alan Watts states, need to figure out how to surprise ourselves. As soon as we add an expectation of the future, we’ve added process, and therefore added limitation to our manifestation abilities.

Learning to surprise ourselves is no easy task, but I believe it’s truly the only way to step into our full potential of creators in this lifetime.

While I’m still wrapping my head and heart around unlearning the unnecessary processes I’ve subscribed to, what I can say is the answer lies in the idea of presence. Yes, it is important to be clear in setting our intentions for the future; however, to allow the true magic to happen we then need to move back into a state of presence and awareness of our given moment.

Here are some techniques I’ve been playing around with (and please feel free to share your own in the comments below)….

  1. Gratitude Hook – What you’re going to do here is in any given moment give your mind a single-pointed focus of something you are grateful for in that moment. For example, this morning in the shower I gave myself the focus of being grateful for the warm water on my skin. Keep repeating it until you feel your mind is pre-occupied with that thought. Try not to go too deep into analyzing ‘why’ you are grateful for that part of your reality, and instead just get the “I am grateful for ____” to stick. As soon as you believe it has, move your awareness into your body and feel the moment. It should be a lot easier to do get into this state of presence and awareness with your mind stuck on a single piece of gratitude of that given moment. If your mind wanders off to the future, acknowledge the drift and try to find a new gratitude hook.
  2. Purpose Alignment – Another technique to become present in the moment I’ve been learning is to align your thought stream of the given moment in a way that is a productive part of your purpose. In other words, how can what you are currently sensing adjust your mindset in a way that is more of service to your discovered purpose. For myself, I’ve become much more aware of my surroundings because I’m constantly receiving signs and messages for people I do mediations for. I joked with my parents yesterday that I’ve become an investigator of sorts, always observing my external reality that can help build the necessary beliefs and confidence within those I serve through my life purpose.
  3. Empathetic Contribution – Another great way to really stay present is to learn to contribute to others simply by empathizing with where they are currently at. Our ability to connect with others via our human wi-fi connection is phenomenal. And as soon as we learn to do that intentionally with others, we unleash this incredible state of presence with others that allows us to live fully in the moment with ourselves and them.



Photo by Martin Reisch on Unsplash


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